"The Erotic Awakening of A.P. LaPearle" is the second segment of the fifteenth episode (and the twenty-ninth story overall) of Close Enough.
Synopsis[]
To market his steamy novel of Viking erotica, Alex recruits Pearle to become the book's author.
Plot[]
Alex reads the latest draft of his Viking Novel to everyone at the apartment. Just as he was about to read a sex scene, he was interrupted by Emily and a few others. Alex then revealed that he had not written an ordinary novel but a Viking Erotica with some degree of historical accuracy. Alex's audience walked away bemused except for Pearle, who ushered him to keep reading.
Pearle gave Alex the confidence to submit a manuscript to Harlot House Publishing, A Novel Publisher that exclusively caters to Erotic Romance Novels.
Alex gets a callback from Harlot House and drives to their headquarters with Pearle by his side. Pearle assures Alex that his book is going to be an "Ophira Handpick".
Alex and Pearle arrived at Harlot House where Pearle was taking in her surroundings, she revealed to Alex that the building had gained the reputation as "The House that Horny built".
It was around this moment that Brienne Bishop, the head publisher walked in. She had just gotten off the phone with a male writer whom she rejected. Brienne was certain that Pearle was Alex Dorpenberger, when Alex cleared up the confusion, Brienne threw up in a conveniently placed trashcan. Brienne went on to explain how the Erotic Novel industry works, they are written by older women exclusively for a female audience. It is highly unpalatable for a man to write Erotic Novels, especially one that looks like "a werewolf who hasn't finished transforming".
She also goes on to explain that female erotica authors have a stage name which is two initials followed by an actual name. Alex quickly devises the plan of making Pearle the face of the Rigidhelmet series, under the moniker of A.P. LaPearle. Pearle wasn't too keen with this idea until Alex goaded her in by saying she could meet her hero - Ophira. Brienne loved Alex's idea and went onboard.
Alex's first Rigidhelmet novel gets published with Pearle posing as the author. Pearle then conducts the first public reading of Rigidhelmet with Alex and Brienne looking on. The reading went overwhelmingly well and Brienne orders Alex to write five more Rigidhelmet Novels and Pearle to go on a book tour, Pearle agreed only if Alex could come with her. Brienne allowed it and suggested Alex to pose as Pearle's assistant.
Pearle and Alex continued the tour while Alex was also working on the next books. A.P. LaPearle's audience however had quickly become disenchanted with Alex Dorpenberger and Alex had to stop attending readings altogether. As Alex was forced to step away from the publicity of his own novels, Pearle was reveling in the attention she was getting.
One particular night Alex and Pearle get informed that Alex's novel was so erotic that it had caused Ophira to slide off of her chair and also that Ophira had decided to make Rigidhelmet the next "Ophira Handpick" and A.P. LaPearle was invited to Ophira's eponymous talkshow to make it official.
Back at Harlot House, Brienne prematurely threw a party in honour of A.P. LaPearle for becoming an Ophira Handpick. When Alex started answering questions in regard to Rigidhelmet, Brienne ordered Pearle to get attention off of him as people could not be allowed to suspect that Alex is the real author.
Pearle made fun of Alex, splashed Pomegranate Wine on his face and pulled his pants down in order to embarrass him off the party so they could keep their secret safe. She was however heartbroken after doing so and Alex was equally as dejected.
The day of the Ophira taping arrived. Ophira announced that A.P. LaPearle was going to read a manuscript of an unreleased sequel to Rigidhelmet, called "Rigidhelmet : The Throbbing Spear". Alex argued with Brienne as he wanted to read his own manuscript. Alex threatened to quit if Brienne didn't let him read and Brienne nonchalantly fired Alex. She revealed that Harlot House scientists have developed an AI that analyzed Alex's first novel and every Wikipedia Article about Vikings and have generated a sequel of their own called "Rigidhelmet : The Glistening Penis Metaphor" which Brienne promised was "absolutely thigh-quaking". Brienne then had Harlot House security remove Alex.
Pearle did not want to read without Alex but Brienne reminded her that her hero Ophira was waiting to talk to her. Pearle decided to read the Harlot House generated sequel but it was full of lifted texts from Wikipedia Articles that were completely out of context. Alex was outraged that his hard work was getting tarnished because of Harlot House and stormed into the theater. Pearle encouraged Alex to come on stage and tell everybody the truth. Alex did walk on stage and Pearle told the world that Alex was the true author of Rigidhelmet.
Ophira, everyone in the audience and everyone back at the Duplex then vomited in disgust. Ophira and her audience then went on a "horny rage" and chased Alex and Pearle. When Pearle and Alex ran to the end of the hall, they found the door to be locked. Pearle then ordered Alex to "say something sexual". Alex uttered phrases like "Supple Flesh" and "Dewy Thighs" causing the mob to vomit. Alex and Pearle finally escape.
All over the country, people were burning Rigidhelmet books and were also vomiting at the same time. Meanwhile back at the apartment, Alex had just finished reading Throbbing Spear to Pearle, much to Pearle's delight. Alex conceited that the only fan he needed all along was Pearle. Pearle acknowledged that they had chosen friendship over money.
Characters[]
- Alex Dorpenberger
- Pearle Watson
- Brienne Bishop
- Ophira
- Emily Ramirez
- Josh Singleton (no real lines)
- Randy Watson
- Bridgette Yoshida (no lines)
- Candice (no lines)
- Ophira's Audience Members
- Rothgar
- Lady Saveria
- E.L. James (portrait only)
- J.Q. Guintel (portrait only)
Trivia[]
- In Season 1, Alex was attempting to write a series of Sci-Fi Viking Action Novels featuring a fantasized version of himself. As of Season 2, Alex has seemingly switched his genre to semi-historically accurate Viking Erotica with completely fictional characters.
- One of the female authors seen in portraiture - J.Q. Guintel - is clearly a female version of series creator J.G. Quintel with transposed initials.
- As a result, she also resembles a female version of Josh.
- The Throbbing Spear was supposed to be the third book in the Rigid Helmet series, but Alex changed his mind and made it the second.
- When Pearle was reading The Glistening Penis Metaphor, she called it The Throbbing Spear instead.
- Rothgar - the protagonist of The Rigid Helmet - is extremely similar to the default Barbarian Class Character from Diablo Immortal. The only differences are that Rothgar is younger and has a giant sword instead of the Diablo character's giant axe.
- These aforementioned modifications enable the character to have sex with Lady Saveria, and enable Saveria to use sex euphemisms involving Rothgar's sword.